We all lost Taylor.
Just over a month after my 30th birthday, I woke up to the news that one of my greatest idols was suddenly gone. A bitter taste of feeling that losing my idols will be something constant and frequent, bit by bit.
I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it. My idol since teenage times will no longer perform his faces and mouths in precise and tireless movements behind the drums.
It took a few days for me to do this tribute – and it wasn’t easy. It is not being easy. As soon as I started looking for images of drums, I was already in tears, with the feeling of having lost someone close.
I started playing drums at 16 and Taylor has always been a huge inspiration. I remember when I was a teenager and I was shocked several times when I saw the video for Best of You on MTV. The strength of that song, Dave Grohl’s screams, the emotion charged in the chorus… But what really caught my attention was the intensity of the drums. I’m proud to say that I’ve been banned from playing in a bar for playing this song “too loud” (impossible to be “too loud” – the louder the fuckin’ better! 😂)
Foo Fighters has always been really about intensity and Taylor translated that relentlessly – it’s impossible to hear their thump and not shake your head compulsively for that sense of satisfaction and meaning. Taylor Hawkins’ violence and precision, accompanied by flowing blond hair and an incomparable smile, was always inspiration – even if involuntarily and unconsciously, he was one of those responsible for making me want to switch from learning guitar, to learning drums. And for playing barefeet too! 😅
I was looking forward to seeing them in June and my baths were already being sacred moments of putting Foo Fighters to play loud and training my vocal chords for this moment. I imagined myself thrilled to see Taylor switch places with Dave and hear him sing Under Pressure or Sunday Rain. Get goosebumps with Run, cry with Long Road to Ruin, scream Something From Nothing and feel embraced by each of your songs. Now, my bath has been watered by the tears of knowing that this will no longer be possible. Knowing that, regardless of the direction of the band, he won’t be there anymore. His energy will no longer be there.
Taylor, I keep listening to your hammers because they will always accompany my auditory and affective memory – you have been part of my history for many years and your legacy will always be carried by the music, the drums and your smile, which is impossible to erase from our memories. Hearing you play was the same as opening a smile along with you and understanding that happiness is very simple, but very touchable.
And that there is no way life can take that away from us.

You’ll be missed. Thank you for everything – you might not even know how big you were.

B a c k T o T o p B a c k T o T o p